My Thoughts Ep.3
This is not my lowest point. I know for a fact that is not, I know that I am already on the way to live normally and will deal with this setback in my life and forget the difficulties I faced and remember the things i have learnt from it. It is not the present that scares me, no; it’s the future and the thought that this thing might have already affected it.
I never let myself believe that my chances of going abroad for higher studies were 100% foolproof. I was prepared if that plan had somehow not succeeded but was ready to give my best shot.
Even now the fact that I had a surgery doesn’t scare me but the chances of getting it again in a foreign place with no support was the only thing that was running in my mind ever since the day of the surgery.
Having people tell me to drop my plans and be where I am is something I have expected, especially my mum. But the thing is I myself am not sure. I do not want my ass to decide my future and be the reason I stay within the safe zone and live a life where all I do is be safe and eventually forget about the dreams I ever had; but at the same time I am scared. Very scared. I am so scared I am trying to convince that it’s fine to aim less, to just never try to fly so that I never fall.
Should wait for some sort of an omen to show me a path or anything that will give that little push I know I can use right now or just take a leap of faith…