The Night at a Brothel
We were on our way back home from our Ladakh bike expedition, it was already midnight and we wanted to cross Jammu & Kashmir at any cost. It’s been 12 days and I haven’t spoken to anyone, if we at least enter Punjab, I can call someone( Our phones didn’t work in Kashmir).
We had our dinner at a dabha and decided to spend the night there. But as usual, Rajesh decided to sleep under a ceiling fan rather a million stars. So we started going to the nearest village and stopped at a small shop to ask if there were any places to sleep for that night.
I was wearing my helmet and sitting on the passenger side making it hard to recognize me . The shopkeeper gave a hard stare at me and said, couple of blocks down the lane, take a right into the alley and you will find what you are looking for. It was a weird way of giving directions but anyway we found the place he was talking about.
This street was standing out with bright lights and colors. It was surprisingly crowded for a small town after 12:30 am and most shocking part was to see women roaming around. This reminded me Gandhi’s quote. He would be really proud seeing this.
Rajesh parks the bike and goes inside one of the building and comes out after 15 min and say:
Rajesh : I got a room for the next 6 hours just for Rs 350.
Me: WTF do you mean for 6 hours? wouldn’t the regular checkout time is around 12:00pm?
Rajesh: I don’t know, I’m just repeating what the lady said.
Me: Say what now?? A woman is managing this so called hotel?
Rajesh shrugs his shoulders & parks our bike inside. The building was a 2 storied building with a huge empty space in the middle.
(similar to this)
Me: Don’t you think there are awful lot of women in here?
Rajesh: It’s krishnashtami today(Indian festival), all the women seemed to be celebrating together.
We went inside our room to see that is was a small room with a shitty bed and very dim lighting, the bathroom stinks and a stupid Indian adult movie was playing on the TV.
Rajesh: Can you switch off the tv?? this place is shit.
Me: You are the one who paid the money to sleep in this damn place.
I had reception on my cell after 10 days so I was texting everyone saying I am alive no need to worry.
Enter the Prostitute
We could see everything and hear everything outside our room because Rajesh had opened a window hoping to get some fresh air. We noticed a girl was continuously passing by our window, she was short, hot & was wearing a tight chudidar (Indian dress) which was choking her chest. After a while she removes her chunnie (scarf usually wore around the neck) exposing her cleavage and started staring at us with a smile.
Me: why the fuck is she staring at us?
Rajesh: May be we look like hot south Indian movie heroes.
Me: Yeah, we hadn’t had shower in 10 days, we are so tanned that someone might think we are black and we we don’t even have a super athletic body type.
Rajesh: let’s just smile back at her and see what might happen.
As soon as Rajesh smiles back, she comes near and starts speaking in Punjabi. But non of us could speak Punjabi, so didn’t understand shit what she was saying.
Suddenly we could hear a women fighting over a man. but as I said, they were arguing in Punjabi so we couldn’t understand anything.
Rajesh: I don’t like this place, everything seems to be out of ordinary.
Me: Well, you should have thought about it before you paid the money.
Rajesh: I hate this place, and why is this bed sticky?
Me: I don’t know dude, may be the last guys who slept here jerked off on the bed.
Rajesh: It’s fucking grose. That’s it, I think this place is a fucking brothel, that’s why these many girls are here. The fight outside is definitely related with money, they are keep on saying “I need Rs 1500 not Rs 1000”. That girl at the window is not hitting on us she is baiting us for sex.
Me: That explains, the adult movie in the TV and the condoms in the bathroom.
Rajesh: There are condoms in the bathroom?
Me: Yeah, you want some? I took couple of them.
Rajesh: But why? you don’t even have a girlfriend you are still a virgin
Me: Bitch, as if you had sex before & you are in a relationship for 4 fucking years. I have my needs.
And what exactly is going on with you and your girlfriend?
Rajesh: Why the fuck are we discussing my sex life instead of getting the hell out of here?
Me: Ahhhh…. It’s 1:30 am in the night and we just have Rs 450 and 1 day journey left.
Rajesh: We will go to jail if there is a raid
Me: Chill, we are just couple of guys, there is no girl with us… yet!!
Rajesh: Mother Fu*ker, that’s even a bigger problem, homosexuality is not legal in India.
meanwhile we hear the knock on the door, it was the window girl with a deep neck chudidar and no pants.
Rajesh: God, now why is she hear?
I decided to have a fun time with Rajesh, this is the time to get back for all those years of oppression.
Me: What happens in Punjab stays in Punjab, I promise I will not say anything to your girlfriend.
Rajesh: Don’t be an asshole, I have a girlfriend. I can’t cheat on her.
Me: If you hadn’t had sex with her yet, how is this cheating?
Rajesh: We are broke AF, we have to go back now.
Me: You could have Rs 100, I don’t know what you will get though, may be Blow job or at least a boob slap I assume.
Rajesh: Stop fucking with me, I am leaving, I don’t care if you are coming or not.
As we were leaving, the woman who gave us the room came towards us and said if you don’t want the present one , I have few on the first floor.
Holy shit, she isn’t the manager of the hotel, she was a madam…
We started our bike and didn’t look back, now we had no place to sleep and no money in our pocket. After a distance we found a temple which was having a krishnashtami celebration. We went inside & after the singing was over we asked the pundit if we could sleep here for tonight. He was generous enough and let us sleep there for that night.
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